


Audeamus

by bianccalove



Category: The Strain (TV)
Genre: But quinlan deserved better, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Oral Sex, Smut, Sorry bois we all going down this ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 08:34:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20871275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bianccalove/pseuds/bianccalove
Summary: The Strigoi have infiltrated life around you, every city. Every home. Fighting was your only chance, and you did so as much as you could stand. Dying wasn't what you planned anytime soon. But Quinlan; a god in your eyes. His mission had been worse than death. Perhaps even gods can learn to love.





	Audeamus

“Eph? What the fuck are you doing?” You stare at the large man, hoping he hadn't gone off the rails just yet. Ephraim waves your question away as he moves to the nearby table, still searching hard in frustration. 

"I'm coming with you.” You murmur, sending him a small smile and set the keys beside him. 

But he did not return it, just sighing and mumbling a quick agreement as he strides toward the door. As soon as you sat down, he starts the car. Barely allowing you time to shut the door before driving off. _What the fuck._ Buckling your seatbelt and giving him a look that could have killed. 

“We are going to a possible nest site-" Eph holds out a gun that dwarfs his large hand, "Here.”

Ephraim was deeply devoted to everything he did. So devoted that he would go running into danger. Or put someone else into it accidentally. The thought brought you into a sad reality. "Why the bribes?" you ask, waving the gun in tandem. 

“Please be careful!" He hisses, pushing his hand over the gun and shoving it into your lap. 

After a moment he continues, "I have to save my son (Y/N), I can't-” he begins, words cutting off into a large frown that encases his face. 

“I know,” you say. Squeezing his hand gently, “I'm here to help you Eph, but if you try this again I will kill you myself.”

A small smile lit his face, "Deal." 

A few minutes later he was pulling the car onto the side of an unfamiliar street, both of you exiting silently. A quick check of the abandoned building held no evidence of a nest, until you pull open the maintenance doors. You cover your nose in disgust, the stench making you gag. Eph mirrors you, pulling his turtleneck up over his nose. He gives you a nod before heading inside, and you quickly follow him. The lumps underneath your feet were a definite sign of a vampire nest. _ Bodies... yummy. _

You heard the hissing ahead, meeting the first strigoi with your blade. Each time you heard a scream, fear laces your spine. That deep part of you wanted to run and hide. But you couldn't let them win, and maybe that was the only reason you were still alive. Minutes later were you able to take a moment to rest. Your sword was covered in blood, strigoi flesh coating your clothes. Ephraim was in the same boat, his chest heaving in exertion. And when you met his eyes, he knew this was indeed a bad idea. 

"You’re an idi-” Something slams into you from the side, you land on your side. Grabbing for the sword as a strigoi jumps on top of you. Your face was slammed into the ground, a hissing at your ear. You begin to heave in air, grabbing for your blade— and in the corner of your eye— the stinger launches at your neck. 

It does not meet. Instead the weight is lifted off of your back, and its body was thrown across the room. Quinlan unsheathes his guns above you, giving you time to regain your bearings. You nod to him as he looks at you with those odd eyes, as if making sure you are alright. After a moment you nod to him, and within seconds he's tearing through the strigoi. Grabbing your blade, you stand up— readying to fight. But the remaining strigoi lay dead on the ground— accompanying the rest of the dead. 

Quinlan turns to Ephraim, “Was this your idea?” 

You wrinkle your nose as they begin to bicker, wiping at the gore on your skin. The sounds of hissing brought you back to the present, you all shared a mutual look of disdain before crawling back through the tunnel to the safety of the car. The ride to the hotel was quick, but you were silent as your thoughts ruminate on the events that happened. The hotel was warm as you follow Ephraim inside, no doubt quinlan was already here. 

Peeling off your coat, you lay down a towel before sitting on the nearest couch. Leaving Eph to snag his own. And after a moment, your eyes begin to close. A gentle hand lands on your shoulder, and you find Abraham with a steaming cup of tea. He smiles at you as you take the glass, mumbling a thank-you as he hobbles off. The crinkling of old papers makes you realize Quinlan had seated himself across from you. His eyes deep into an old book that held some sort of significance that you probably didn't understand. 

Ephraim lifts your legs, plopping himself beside onto the couch with a look of irritation. his fingertips tapping as he eyes the Lumen held beside Quinlan. 

Sipping your tea, the tension began to make you itch. “How come every time we meet, your covered in blood?” You ask. 

He looks up at you, allowing you to catch the quirk of his lips at your question. Your heart warms at the emotion he had shown you. _ That might be the only time hes smiled in a long, long time. _ “Perhaps that is how all great friendships form.” 

You gaze at him, too tired to hide the large grin on your face at his reply. You have known these people for only a few months, but in such circumstances— they had become a sort of dysfunctional family you loved. Quinlan however, was a mystery. He intrigued you and always seemed to know what you were thinking. 

“I hope you aren't here to steal the Lumen again,” Abraham begins, sitting down with his cane across from them. 

Ephraim rubs his hands down his face in irritation, “I've found another nest-”

“You mean the one where you almost got yourself and (Y/N) killed?” Quinlan interjects, shutting the book. 

You snicker at his words behind your cup as Ephraim stands in anger, “I'm trying to save my family, or what's left of it! Zach-” he grabs his coat, “Zach is in danger, I have to find him.” 

Your hand covers his in an effort to calm him down, “I understand Eph. But you need rest, and food. You have to sleep sometime.” 

Ephraim nods down at you, squeezing your hand before pulling on his beanie. “Are you coming with me?”

You were about to speak when Abraham interrupts, “I will join you, perhaps I can be of some use.” 

Eph nods, apparently appreciating any help at the moment. And he was trying to make up for mistrust he had caused, “Thankyou.” 

You smile as the man pulls on his hat and joins Ephraim. “Alright, well. I shall stay and keep Mr. Quinlan company then?" You raise an eyebrow towards him, making sure he was alright with you staying. 

Quinlan looks up, his face holding no response as he looks back down at his book with enamored focus. Ephraim smirks at you, and you narrow your eyes at him before he closes the door. 

Setting your tea down, you mumble a quick be right back before trying to find a shower. Your hair was still wet as you shrug on clean clothes from one of the hotel drawers. Heading directly to the hotel bar, you pour a glass of whiskey. Carrying it back into the room too eye the hybrid.

He’s sharpening his sword as you walk in, “Whiskey?" He questions, eyes not moving from bis blade.

“My options are limited.” You throw back the bitter liquid, pouring another glass to try and avoid the emotions rising in your throat. He continues sharpening his blade, both of you in a comfortable silence. Too soon–the whiskey bottle was empty. You both migrate back into the living room, and he opens the Lumen. 

_ Back to work. _ Internally you huff about it, a frustrated sigh escaping your mouth_. _“Quinlan,” you begin, “What makes you happy?” Settling yourself on the other end of the couch he sat on.

Heat rose to your cheeks, and you knew it was partly the alcohol making you ask these things. But you wanted him to be happy, you wanted him to be able to have a life other than war. 

A deep rumble fills his chest, you eye him— the ridges of his brows furrowing together in thought, “It has been quite a long time since I've... I've had any sort of normality to my life.” 

You frown at the sadness of his words, instantly regretting asking him. There was so much pain that shown in his second of vulnerability, and anger grips your chest. Anger that he had suffered for so long. “I wish you were free from the fucking chain around your neck.” 

His silence was deafening, your heart dropping as you resign yourself to the fact that it was not your place to feel that way. The shake of his head confused you, within seconds he was so close you could see the ridges on his skin. And your breath hitches in your throat. 

“And if I was,” he murmurs, his hand raising to your face, “If I was free, would you still have a monster such as myself?” 

You dig your fingers into your palms, “I would have you never suffer again." 

His eyes close as he leans forward, "Forgive me," placing a soft kiss against your forehead before pulling away, "I can not endanger those I love. Not again.” 

Quinlan stands, almost running out of the room, leaving you in a state of rejection and awe. You grit your teeth, pushing back the urge to cry. Leaving the room, you attempt to try and find him, To fix things, but he was gone. The understanding brought a laugh to your lips, because what the fuck else could go wrong. 

You scrub your blood stained clothes, waiting until Abraham and Eph walk in the hotel. Ephraim leans against the doorway and eyes you, “Ready?” 

Nodding to him, you grab your things and lead Eph out. The heat of eyes on your back made your anger fizzle out, what was left behind was exhaustion. The drive back was quiet, and you could tell Ephraim wanted to ask you about what happened. “What is it?” 

He makes a motion to run his hand through his hair, but stops at the realization that it was shaved, "I assume things didn't go well?” Patting his beanie covered head instead. 

Shaking your head, you lean your head against the window for the rest of the drive. The next few days were full of the fight of the vampire plague. It was a Saturday when you bugged Eph about Quinlan, you had broken down at the news that it was almost time for his revenge. Time for him to sacrifice himself for it. 

Quinlan had a burden upon his shoulders that no one else could fathom, but still had hope inside him. A hope that people like you could have a life, and you couldn't blame him. You loved that stupid bastard. _ “Loved _,” you spoke aloud. 

The Iliad was one of the books you found on a food run, and it made sense. All of you were in a battle for your lives, and so you join Eph in the living room and begin reading. That is until you felt his gaze burning into you, you eye him with a sigh, “What?” 

After a few seconds he finally speaks, “Something your not telling me?” 

You raise your eyebrows in confusion, “I've told you everything.” 

Eph moves to the window, pushing the curtain away with a smirk, “You sure? Your boyfriend is standing outside in the rain like one of those cheesy romance films.”

“My boyfriend?” You jump up and rush to the window, Quinlans pale form stood outside on the street. Soaking in the cold rain. 

You grab your jacket with a sigh, pushing Ephraim out of the way with a grumble. “He's not my boyfriend.” 

You heart races as you walk down the stairs. It wasn't him you were afraid of, but of losing him. Wrapping your arms together, you stride to him. It seems he was at a loss for words when you finally meets his gaze. You motion toward the apartment, “Come inside.” 

He follows you reluctantly up the stairs, setting his coat on the hanger as you shake yourself off. You nod for him to follow before throwing him a towel. Waiting by the window in silence as he dries, watching the rain pour down the glass. “I thought I would never see you again, that I had not even had the chance to say goodbye.” 

In his silence you ran a hand through your damp hair in frustration, “Why did you come?” 

A gentle hand on your chin turns your face towards his, meeting the blue of his eyes before he pulls you into his chest. 

“I am afraid,” Holding you hesitantly as he waited for your reaction. You grasp his arms for comfort, looking up at him as he continues, “I have lost those I love before. I cannot-”

“We all must die Quinlan, is that not what fate has promised you?” You felt his arms tighten around your back with your words, and for once you had rendered him silent.

Quinlan pulls back, at first you are scared he will leave—you open your mouth to protest, beg if you have to. But instead, he presses his lips to yours. Hand snaking behind your neck for a deeper kiss. The other shoves you against the wall. You moan into his mouth, his aggression sending heat straight between your legs, “Will you take me, the monster I am?” 

You grip his face between your hands, eyes searching his as you offer yourself to him. “I am yours, Quinlan." 

Quinlan thrusts his hips forward at your words, pinning you to the wall as he whispers into your ear, “Then let me take what is _ mine _,”

You bite down on his neck, grinding your hips into his. He groans in reciprocation, ripping at your shirt before taking in the sight of your bare skin. Licking his lips in a manner that had your pussy throbbing with need. His head lifts as he sniffs the air, no doubt smelling the wetness between your legs. 

Quinlan pulls back enough too begin pulling off his shirt, you barely caught the look of hesitation that was sent your way. You send him a gentle smile, moving his hands away from his belt as he eyes you in confusion. Your eyes lower as you begin undoing his pants, he grabs your wrists—stopping you as his lips open. Hid stinger slides out of his mouth and towards you, you meet his eyes. A part of you afraid that he would just bleed you dry, and the other— wanted him to be all of who he was.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asks. 

There was no hesitation as you spoke, you would readily give Quinlan everything. Even your life. “I want all of you Quinlan, even the parts you may not accept.” 

He hisses-- silent as he fights with himself and finally; the stinger slides back between his lips. Quinlan shoves you back against the sheets, large hands gripping your thighs and spreading your legs for him. His large hands rid you of the rest of your clothes. Revealing your bare skin to him. For a moment he stares in awe. 

He cups your pussy in lust, sweeping his thumb across your clit. Your hips arch, but he presses them back against the bed as he slides a finger inside you. You buck your hips against his hand, moaning as he falls to his knees—tongue sliding along your entrance. Tongue and teeth teasing the sensitive bud between your pussy lips. Soft moans fill the room, your moans. Time slows, his warm mouth between your legs. 

The sharp incisions of his stinger in your thigh had your toes curling. You groan, bucking your hips into his mouth as you begin to cum. He stays there until you release him, licking the cum from his lips. Tasting you. 

You spread your legs, pulling him in between them. His body is flush with yours, and his lips taste yours. He pulls himself back, splaying a hand across your stomach— and thrusts himself inside you. 

His eyes close in pleasure, a moan escaping his lips before he jerks his hips against yours again. You grip his arms for support, moaning as his thrusts shove you into the headboard. Quinlan growls against your ear, teeth nipping at the skin before he flips you over. His muscles ripple as you grab onto him in surprise, his lips sending shivers down your spine. "Y/N," he moans, one hand on your neck and the other curl around your hip. 

Your gasps fill the air, hips grinding back against his. Something primal shivers into your spine, and you grit your teeth. Meeting his thrusts in tandem. Quinlan let's out a desperate grunt, his hips stuttering as he began to cum. He rides out his orgasm slowly. Taking in deep breaths and lazily laying beside you. His eyes were wide as he watches you. 

You reach for his hand in worry, trying to comfort him. "Do you regret it?" 

Quinlan meets your eyes, "Never." Pulling you closer to him. 

You lift yourself onto your elbows, "Then it is your fear." 

He doesn't answer, opting to look outside at the rain filled night. But you pry his head back toward yours, "You are not weak for it Quinlan." Placing a kiss along his palm, "Let me take your fear, just for a little while." 

After a moment Quinlan relaxes against your chest, and you hold him. Allowing him a sense of peace if only for a moment. 

* * *

Quinlan told you of his plan that night, and the inevitability of losing him devastated you. You had sent him away because you needed time to process the loss. Days later led you to your current situation. Covered in Strigioi blood and curled up on the couch with a cup of stale coffee. Gazing at the wall with anger. 

You sigh at the heavy steps of the hybrid. Relief burns in your throat as you turn to him. You were glad he was alive. That he was still _breathing_. He sets his sword against the wall, nose lifting onto the air before moving to your side. "You went hunting alone?" 

Setting your cup down, you ignore his question. He already knew the answer. 

He stands and turns to leave. "Please don't leave," you whisper, "Don't leave it like this." 

Quinlan turns to look into your eyes, pressing a gentle hand onto your face. He helps you strip out of the bloody clothes in silence. But you can't help but feel the loss of him, even when he's right in front of you. "I feel such pain, I feel your loss. But you are right here," you shove your hands into his chest. 

He grips them gently, placing a kiss onto your palms before lifting you into his arms. "I must kill the master," he states, teeth gritting against each other.

But you plead with him, "Don't make me watch you die." 

“You know I must do this.” Quinlan dips his head into the crook of your neck. Scenting you while his lips brush across your skin. Both of you knew this would probably be the last time you would see each other. 

“When the time comes, know that you own my heart. And with my last breathe, I will think only of you.” he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your neck. 

You begin to cry at his words, wrapping your arms around his neck. In that moment you knew he would die for you, and you in turn would die with him. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
